Today was 50 degrees out. Now it's raining. Just a few days ago it was 35 degrees out.... my life has been like the weather lately, constantly changing. Last night I went into the city expecting to go to a contra dance and ending up going to a show of a now ex friend's friend's band and staying in Trenton, NJ for the night. I love these nights when you go out expecting one thing and something completely different happens. It was really a great night, but the next day I find out that my "friend's" night was completely ruined by me. Here's the story of the night as it really happened in the best nutshell I can give....
I was on my way to the contra and my now ex friend tells me that she is going to the city to with her friends for their show. Ironically enough it was in the same area I was in so I decided to ditch the contra and go with them. The show was great, they did a Killers covers, we both took photos and after they loaded up their van we decided to go out to eat. Originally I was going to just go and meet up with the contra people at the diner, but then I thought I'd rather go with the band and friends. Then I thought maybe we could meet up with my contra friends which was a bit of a walk, but I asked if they minded walking. None of them opposed. I suggested a few places closer by but they were closed. We walked to about where the contra was and then I found out that none of the contra people were going anyway. So we had walked all that way and were even meeting up with those people, thats not my fault. I didn't know. I was on the lookout for anything close by too but sometimes it is harder than it seems to find a not too expensive restaurant in New York. Finally we found a place that everybody seemed happy with and we had a lovely little dinner all together. During dinner I made it clear that I had to leave with enough time to get on the subway to get my train home. But one of the guys in the band offered to drive me up to grand central, which at the time sounded quicker because there was a lot of construction going on in the subway and delays. Now to the misunderstanding of this ex friend whose name I shall not speak of, she thought I asked for a ride and thought I should've left for the subway when they started walking back to the van. What she clearly doesn't understand (because she doesn't understand New York and it's public transportation system, because she is too much of a diva to do that at night) is that the subway I would have been taking back uptown was in the direction of where they parked anyway, which is why I was offered a ride. I made a joke to the lead singer of the band that if I missed my train I could come party with them in Trenton. Totally not serious. But he said if I did that "I have a couch you can crash on it's fine". Now even if he didn't know I was joking, would somebody really suggest that if they were not comfortable with me staying? No. You would just blow it off and laugh. So we got in the van, tried to make it up to Grand Central but by 1:45 we were only around 32nd st and clearly I wasn't making it. So to Jersey it was. I ended up staying with him, I was as best of a guest that I could be. He was the best host he could be and even asked if I needed a toothbrush when we got back and dropped me off at the train near Trenton the next day. I never asked for anybody to do any of this. I asked "are you sure that's okay?" and said I could stay in Penn Station the night until the 5:30am train. If he really didn't want me, he would've just dropped me off there. I'm a big girl, unlike my ex friend and I can handle a night in the big bad city alone. I've done it before. I took the NJ transit and then metro north home the next day and was happy with my Saturday night. Nobody else seemed bothered one bit either. One of the other guys even texted me later in the day on Sunday asking if I got home safe. Now, according to my ex friend, this guy was getting annoyed with me the whole night. Now not to be that person who claims they are telling the "right" side of the story, but if he was so annoyed with me, why on earth would he A) save my phone number in his phone and B) go to the trouble to ask if I got home safe the next day? Just as the same with the others. It was also mentioned in her massive essay of a tumblr post talking about how I ruined her night because I was "chatting it up with her friends like we were old pals". Well what am I supposed to do, say two words to them all night and not speak with them because we just met? Is that not how you make new friends, by talking to them and sharing stories and laughing at jokes? Am I not allowed to do these things just because we met a few hours ago? According to her standards, I'm not. Apparently having an outgoing personality is annoying and she claims she "embarrassed by me and apologized" and to her friends for me. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't make me wonder if they really were annoyed by me. I even considered asking them after I read her essay about it. But at the same time, why would they exchange numbers with me, continue to talk to me after we parted ways and imply that they want to come play on my radio show and at my school next semester if they were really as annoyed by me as she claims they were? It just doesn't add up. I honestly think it was HER who was annoyed by me, not them.
You know it's funny because my best friend tonight was just telling me about how she no longer wants somebody who was once a friend in her life, and I realized how many people I've made that decision about in the past few years all for the better. And tonight I add another one. Honestly, it feels pretty good to end that friendship- I've been contemplating it for a while now but never found a specific reason to since we don't see each other all that often. I never felt this way about ending friendships in high school, but since college I've been making so many new friends that when it comes time that I just can't handle the things I don't like about certain people, dropping their friendship all together is a lot better than dealing with the shit about them that annoys me. Why spend time on somebody that annoys you more than they make you happy? There is no point! Out with the old and in with the new!
P.S. Food in New York City is going to be expensive no matter where you go. $3.50 a slice of pizza is average. I don't have much money either. Deal with it or GET THE FUCK OUT OF NEW YORK. You'll never make it in this city or this industry being the scared little girl you are. You're almost 23 and are afraid to take the subway alone. And I'M obnoxious?
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