These are the best days of my life

When I got to Fredonia I thought I was so cool living in a college dorm, with my meal plan, not having 6 hour classes 5 days a week like I did in high school. I remember a girl who was a junior at the time saying how glad she was she didn't live on campus and have to have a meal plan anymore. "Do you know how long the food sits out there in Cranston?" I remember her saying, but I thought it was the coolest thing in the world being there and that I'd never want to move off campus (little did I know I'd leave that school for good). Now I look back on freshman year and see how bland and boring it was, I don't even mean it because of where Fredonia is, but freshman year, being a first year in college. It was new and exciting having a college ID, saying "I'm a college student!", but now, two years later and two semesters later I'm a lot more accustomed to it and I walk around saying "I'm in college" still feeling young. I always feel little for some reason, but the reality of it is that I only have two years left. And I feel like I'm JUST beginning to get the real college experience. The parties, the walking around and meeting people, the campus involvement. Mostly the people I've met though. Just so many people. I know I said the same freshman year but none of that lasted. I mean not everybody I've met here is going to be a lasting friend, but I see them around a lot and hang out and talk. I've been meeting new people every weekend. I mean who would've ever thought on a Friday night in October I'd start out at a little party at the commuter lounge at 8pm and end sleeping with my downstairs neighbor at 4am, only to find out he's a total druggie and listen to him and some others snorting coke in their bathroom a month later? Or that a Saturday night in November beginning with a drag show event would end in meeting somebody outside my friend's apartment on the way home at 2:30am, smoking hookah with him at his apartment, and hooking up with him only to find out he has a girlfriend the next day? You know, at this point I don't care. I mean not saying I want to ruin relationships and become a coke head, but I'm going fucking live up these last two years of being a kid (which I still feel like even though I'm 20 and will graduate when I'm nearly 23). I'm not going to give a fuck about morals if somebody wants to cheat on their girlfriend with me, because that's not my issue. I'm not going to care what my neighbors think of me, I'm going to go and hang out with them and smoke their weed while I listen to them snort coke (not that I plan on trying coke). If somebody offers me acid though, I'd try that. I'm not going to stress about taking the maximum amount of credits, because I want to take my time here. I love it here, and if I stay on a steady pace I can still graduate in 8 semesters without stressing myself out. What hurry do I have to be in? These are the best days of my life.

Stop pacing around and waiting for some moment that might never arrive

This year is going to be different, and I know I say that every year but this time I mean it. While I haven't really made any new friends, within the first week of school I've walked up to 50 strangers for signatures to put myself into the ballot for school senate, put an application in for the school radio to either have a radio show or intern, found out I am second on the wait list for housing (although two weeks later I still haven't moved up...), gotten two As and an 85 (on a pop quiz I was totally unprepared for), and I've even hung out with some old friends from high school who also go here. This year I am going to get involved and I'm going to get my grades up. I say I will never be an A student but maybe I can. Or at least a B+ student. In my honest opinion, a huge part of college and the most useful part about it isn't the information that you  learn in classes, but the people you meet. Connections. I think that is the key to success.

Yes, I am bummed that I have not yet met anybody new who I'd actually keep in close contact with, but I am not going to let that get me down. I am going to look on the bright side. I do have one or two friends on campus and their friends. That is a start. After all, that is how you meet people quite often- through mutual friends. That is how I met both of my ex boyfriends, through other friends/friend's friends. My goals this semester are to make new friends, get involved on campus, and bring up my GPA to at least a 3.0. I won't let the little things get to me. I won't let winter turn me into a hermit this year. I will go out, even if it is just my spot in the music building. I will sit alone if I have to in a public place. I will enjoy myself. I will be happy with where I am and who I am.